USS Sanctuary

Life of a Sergeant


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CLASSIFIED******
Security Level 9 REQ
Decryption Code RSA
COMMAND STAFF EYE’S ONLY

Where to begin. The events of the past few days have been… intense. In short, boarded a skinless research facility, murdered dozens of helpless skinjobs, Capt. Val. almost died (again), Given first real command, quickly got my command massacred, put delayed detonation charges on a small quantum singularity, Watched McCoy get ripped in half and his heart eaten (literally), narrowly escape the facility before capture, Oh, and then watch as a blackhole tries to consume us and everyone else around.

The next several hours are simply a blur. I remember Capt. Val yelling at me, at least I think he was yelling. His voice seemed so far away. Then he put some scalpel looking thing in my hand and pointed at a watermelon. Without really realizing it, I managed to destroy the scalpel and the watermelon. I tried to say something, anything, but nothing would come out. Its almost as if my voice divorced me and left me with these visions of McCoy’s death as a parting gift, and it took the house.

The doc quickly realized what was going on and gave me this goofy wrist mounted machine that lets me “text to voice” anything I would need to convey. So far its been a nuisance, but without any other ability to communicate there is little i can do about it. This brings me to the most interesting part all of this.

So i’m sure this will get marked classified or w/e because of what i’m about to bring up, but i don’t care. Being the Doc’s direct body guard has its own set of challenges and responsibilities, but whats not on the job application is Xeno babysitting. Doc has developed a rather odd friendship with the Grey known as Burnie. I spend as much time keeping him out of trouble as I do the Doc most days. What happens when you put 2 hyper intelligent beings in a lab and give them free rein to do/invent as they please? Bad things happen. Very bad things. While burnie was working on this Gravity Drive for the shields, he accidentally almost vented the ship of all atmosphere, and if not for quick reflexes by the Doc, could of surely killed us all. Something about routing extra power to the shield emitters and if people on decks 10-23 wanted to breath easy the could get in a space suit.

Burnie also lacks the ability to communicate verbally, but he is a highly telepathic being so speaking directly into another’s mind is his only form of communication. To be able to hear him you must be given some type of chemical supplement to stir activity in a long dormant part of the human brain. Naturally being his babysitter I’ve been given such a high “honor.”

I wouldn’t call it a curse, nor really a blessing. I’d almost call it a chore. A chore the causes me to laugh on a near daily basis. Burnie may be a super smart alien, but his impersonations of human interaction and culture relevance are down right hilarious. The other day Doc and Burnie got into an argument about pranks and their “comedic” intentions. This all started after burnie heard me “thinking” about some of the run of the mill marine stuff that goes on in a the bunks. He couldn’t understand how causing harm, sometimes in excess, to fellow humans was not only ok, but expected and laughed at. Apparently across the known species of the universe humans are the only species to actively seek harm of close friends for personal amusement. At length of the doc trying to explain this, he finally gave up and tried to show how pranks could be fun, by using ME as the experiment. This didn’t go over well because burnie was broadcasting his thoughts in short form, so i over heard everything he said to the doc, though i only got half the convo, but it went along the lines of this

“No wonder your species is on the verge of extinction.” “Well even if the crystalline hadn’t shown up you would of destroyed yourselves for nothing more then pure amusement!” “What? How is that going to be funny?” “WHAT IF HE DIES!?” “Leave Tarkus alone, he couldn’t even scream for help if he wanted too!” (to which i could hear doc burst out laughing on the other side of the door) “Why is that funny?” “Why would you want to provoke an armed warrior? This seems like the stupidest thing humanity has ever come up with.” “Ok fine i’ll try.”

So I get a page from the doc,“Come in here Tarkus i need your help.” So I step inside, look around the room, and notice burnie is standing behind a chair off in a corner. Puzzled I looked at him for a long moment, which apparently spooked him because he vanished into cloak a second later. The doc asked me to sit, so i did. He started talking about some medical bullshit, so i just pretended to understand. After a few seconds I heard a small tap, a noise I had come to understand as burnie’s foot step. I knew what was going on, but decided to play along. Doc kept rambling, and then another tap. They got closer together, and were getting nearer behind me. I tried to keep my mind focused on w/e the doc was saying to burnie wouldn’t know i was on to him, though i think burnie was so nervous he wouldn’t have noticed. I waited till I thought the tap was just behind me, Then I spun around, got on one Knee, shouldered my rifle and screamed. there was a tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap, and the door to the room flew open. I turned around and the Doc just shook his head laughing. “He was just gonna prick you with a needle. You realize you’ve probably traumatized the poor guy right?” Whatever, I like my prank better hehe.

Comments

+10 exp for the funny log but stop fucking with my alien

Life of a Sergeant
HurstGM HurstGM

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