Uhhh, not really a log person. I mean, the other people that were there can probably give you a better explanation of what happened. Not that I dont know what happened! Just you know… weve got a sciency guy… and you cant tell me the guy with two good eyes and scope who climbed a tree like a freakin monkey cant tell you what happened better than my one-eyed ass.
Freakin hate officers. I get they signed up to be paper pushers “oh humanity is almost completly wiped out… lets all make a journal about it!” Good one brass, great idea. Did you try telling the aliens were sorry? Maybe bake them some cookies and see if we can just laugh it off?
Anyways, because apparantly having the dozens, nay hundreds, of two-eyed people write reports of what happened isnt good enough that we need my eagle sharp eye, here is my report.
This is, well hell, I dont know what my rank is anymore. My XO gave me a promotion, but no idea if he meant that or not. I dont think he even knows my name, probably just “Doctors Bodyguard #1”. This is Dane, im a Heavy Assault Marine. You tell me where the bad guy is, ill shoot my way, blow my way, crash my way, and beat the ever living snot out of em.
Oh, and if your wondering why all my curse words are so pretty, its so I dont offend any of the delicate flowers who want me to write this report. Apparantly, my mother was suppose to teach me better.
Alright, so get this, humanity is literally (REDACTED). Im on a shuttle, flying back from my recent Doc apointment, and hear over the radio that we just got our planets blown up. The only surviving group is deep in space.
On arrival, I got no gear. Guess that was going to come on shuttle number 2, thats now blown up. Or maybe its still in the spaceport, who knows. I doubt they will be mailing it to me.
We have 1 real doctor, and guess who gets to babysit. Really not the worse gig, hes a smart guy, and has some neat toys. Plus, hes working on figuring out what the hell these aliens are, and I get to be there every step of the way. Why am I interested, because if he figures out what hurts em, I am going to be the first one to shove it up there (REDACTED).
Bodyguard number 2 for the doc is another grunt. I gota say, first impressions, not impressed. So get this, he and I take a stroll around the ship to get familiar, our tour guide being an angry irishman. Were told that our mission is to protect the doctor and medical bay. Seems easy, and there are way worse assignments.
Alarm goes off, were getting attacked, ships are jumping. Were hit, and the crystal things are on our ship. I take door A, bodyguard 2 takes door B. His name is Wayne by the way. Real quiet guy. Anyways, few minutes pass, its boring. Im pushing buttons in my armor, playing with my new machine gun. Finally, combat, people are screaming down the hall from Wayne. I turn and run it over to his side. On the way, I see Wayne hanging in the door taking shots with his BB gun. Okay, whatever, maybe were being rushed and hes using cover. Then I see the Doc, this crazy bastard, run around the corner into danger.
Sweet (REDACTED) (REDACTED) (REDACTED) the only guy I have to protect just ran straight into danger, leaving his bodyguards behind. What does Wayne do, keep shooting down the hall where the Doctor now is. So great, I now have a Doc being attacked from two sides.
I run around the corner, and go after the damn doctor. Hes helping the injured crewman, and these 2 crystal crabmen are at the end of the hall just blasting away. I really just wanted to go play little drummer boy all over their fragile little bodies, but I gota protect the doctor. So I throw myself into danger, playing the hero, getting the aliens attention. I go blasting with my big boy gun, and those alien bastards are ducking and dodging and just falling all overthemselves. Unfortunatly, something was screwed up with my gun, so I barely even nicked one of those bastards. Ill give Wayne credit, he ended up finishing them off as I bravely kept their attention on me. A bit late, as I got a little banged up.
Doc fixed me, and armor got patched, so no biggie. Gota give the doc credit, hes got balls. Great when he comes to save my ass, but a pain when its my job to keep him alive.
Anyways, so I wasnt very impressed with Wayne. Great, he got a couple lucky shots. Guy cant even wear a combat EVA. But he ended up being a pretty good badass himself, ill get to that.
I did get another chance to show off my value. A few of the crystals made it to our engine room. On the way, Wayne, Doc, and I got joined by the angry irishman. Apparantly that guy knows ships really well, some kind of engineer or something. Brags about being a pilot, but I doubt it.
We get to the engine room, and again I get to impress. We setup a sweet ambush, and end up destroying a group of the crystal bastards. Wayne vaporized one with that rifle of his, the angry man blasted with a nice shotgun. And then you had me blasting away full auto with my machine gun. It was damn sweet.
We carried some injured people, some guy fixed the engine, really nothing exciting after we kicked some alien ass.
So, apparantly the ship needs parts, so we pile into a destroyer and go bounding off. We ran into a group of pirates, if you can really call them that. Really a non-event as well, but we ended up saving another 30 humans.. yay. The good part is we found this asteroid. But really, it was some super secret research lab for bio weapons. Damn, talk about some cool technology. Everyone was trying to figure out how to get in, when I finally spoke up.
You see, this lab received instructions from the planet, but it hadnt been receiving them. I brought up the good point of “Hey, lets just find the place on the planet with antennas pointed right at this asteroid…”. This is when the XO said I was promoted, I dont think he expected me to even talk in this meeting. I guess I was suppose to be like a fancy watch on the Doctors arm or something, freakin officers dont know how to use the resources they got. Anyways, when find the place, and off we go.
First off, not the first time ive been on a ruined planet. Nobody else seemed to recognize the signs of looters. Shoes and guns were missing. Guards dont kick their shoes off in a fit of joy, somebody stole em. Besides that, the doctor and angry engineer found some interesting things. Ooh, I did find a neat toy, but nobody would let me take it. A thermal nuke, I mean, how sweet would that be to have. Anyways, cant really blame them, I had nowhere to keep it. And not like i can throw it in the middle of a fight.
So, nightfall. Were hopeing to find these survivors, and continue searching in the morning. Apparantly I was the only one smart enough to bring a flashlight. Again, why do grunts get the reputation of being dumb, when half of our “salvage team” dont even have flashlights. You think the nuked planet is still going to have power and running water? Maybe a little hotel for us to freshen up in?
So, nightfall. ya ya, im rambling, its been an interesting week. Wayne, our tree climbing sniper calls out movement. At this point im up, so i start waking up others. Were trying to figure out if friend or foe, and Wayne is the only one who can see em. Doctor has 1 job, stay in the damn shuttle. Whats he do.. starts screwing around at the firepit. Wayne believes it to be foe, they dont look right. So all us combat trained soldiers set up and wait for it to arrive. We got the cover of night, highly trained people, my ass in a big suit of combat EVA. You ever seen a flashbang? how about a 50ft fireball that can be seen for miles. Oh yeah, he did. Doctor made us our own little sun, let everyone on this side of the planet know where we are. Hundreds of these zombie like things see us, and come charging.
Remeber when I said Wayne wasnt so bad. This guy is a trained spotter, and starts calling in for ship artillary. Explosions, zombies get decimated. I do need to point out, whoever was shooting the artillary needs to get some training. The first couple shots were way off. Ended up just screwing up trees, as we were all preparing to get overrun. Finally they figured out how to aim straight, and the rest is history.
We captured one of the zombies, but learned later the XO didnt like it being on his ship and blew it out an airlock. Kind of messed up, the thing was harmless.
Oh, get this, we get back, with months of research data on these crystal aliens, and decades worth of information on bioweapons. And our commander, not our XO, but our freakin commander tries to destroy it. Thinks its “dangerous”. Oh good, so when our bones are melting and we want to know why and what to do… we can just die in sweet sweet ignorant bliss.